Ways to become a loving partner
Am I a good partner? What makes a happy relationship? Kindness is the key that gets lost all too often. In these seven ways, we can become a better partner again.
The key to a happy relationship, according to couples therapists, seems mundane: Be nice. But, can love to be that simple? Of course not. Because friendliness is lost in a partnership faster than you think. There are various reasons for this: habit, self-protection, and even overfamiliarity can lead to us suddenly being anything but friendly – and no longer recognizing ourselves. So let's listen to ourselves: are we a good partner? Would we be happy in a relationship with ourselves? These things help us be nicer again—and thus become a better, loving partner.
1. Learn to control your feelings
Feelings cannot be controlled - but how we deal with them. Of course, you shouldn't have to suppress your emotions in a relationship. Anger, disappointment, and fear are natural feelings we experience. Nevertheless, our feelings can quickly overwhelm us - and lead us to actions that we later regret. Often the person closest to us suffers the most from our moods. Learn to allow your feelings for yourself, but control them when dealing with your partner. Take a deep breath and consider whether an outburst is warranted or whether you're overreacting.
2. Let the past be
Exes are a thorn in many relationships. People tend to make comparisons. We should never measure our partner against another person, be it the ex or the best friend's model boyfriend. The same applies to negative experiences in the past that inhibit us from being in love now. Who suffers? The new partner. Try to engage in your relationship and live in the present.
3. Don't insist on your rights
Is every difference of opinion worth an argument? In disputes, countless things often come up that are not related to the topic. Paradoxically, we often become disrespectful to the people we are most familiar with. Psychologists advise countering this with an unexpected step: Say something nice. Instead of relying on your point of view, take a deep breath and focus on what you love about your partner. It is a sign of strength to give in. Remember: You don't fight each other together.
4. Be objective
Sometimes we go nuts - paradoxically, just when everything is going well in the relationship. We see things that aren't there, allow ourselves to be controlled by fears, and create artificial problems - just because we can't believe that love can sometimes be uncomplicated. So it would be best if you first tried to look at issues supposed objectively before we bring them up.
how you become a better partner
In the partnership, an essential factor is often lost: friendliness. This is how we become better partners. Photo: iStock
5. Respect your partner's needs
They are just as important as our own. In an intimate relationship, each partner is only happy when the other is too. Everyone is different and has unique ideas about their happiness. Accepting and respecting your partner's needs and feelings, even if they are different from your own - is how you become a better partner on your own.
6. Don't let the relationship become a barter
You only cook for your partner if he also gives you flowers? Love is not a trade. At the beginning of a relationship, we usually do everything to make our partner happy. We begin to weigh up at some point - do we get as much in return as we give? We become suspicious. Don't let this disturb prevail but stay nice. Everyone contributes their part to the relationship in their way. Love is not a competition to give more.
7. Love as you would like to be loved
Of course, this does not only apply to love. We should always treat other people as we would like to be treated ourselves. And so, the key to a happy relationship is kindness. We can all become better partners by following these tips and practicing step-by-step how to be nice—and stay friendly.
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